Paper-Eater McGill
Known to really curl and rip your paper. Only attacks on even-number days.
Terence "One-Knob" Oaks
Even with the set-screws nice and snug, the knob falls off. Usually on a carriage return.
Kaiser Drag
Once a fortnight you must tighten the carriage return arm.
The $10 Man
$10 for a tub of Instamorph made loading paper much easier.